Tag Archives: marriage

The List…

Alhamdulillah, we’ve been married for more than 3 weeks now. I could never been happier, but sadly..today dear husband starts working. 😦 rindu yang teramat sangat…seriously.

I’m really sorry for abandoning this blog, dulu..I always get curious on why newlyweds jarang update their blog anymore and I understand now. haha. Other than wanting to spend time every minute and second with husband, our responsibilities and duties pun bertambah. hehe. Sementara hubby kerja ani, I might as well update here kan? mostly to avoid feeling the ‘rindu’ pulang ni. LOL. sorry….hahah.

I will start by listing out the vendors that helped in making our big day a special one. 🙂

Nikah:

MUA – Hajah Zaleha & Haji Zaidi

Doorgifts – Beras Kebun from my Grandparents

Attire – Materials ; bought in KL

             – Tailoring ; Anyati Tailoring

Accessories – Roza Rohaya

Pelamin – Ruzz Enterprise

 

Bedak Malam

MUA – Suzy RTB & Haji Zaidi

Doorgifts – Orang membedaki ;  glass container from Mangkuk Emas

                    – Jemputan ; Biscuits from Mahani M&Z Home Bakery

Attire – Anma Bridal Boutique

Accessories – Anma Bridal Boutique

Pelamin – Ruzz Enterprise

 

Bersanding

MUA – Suzy Niekman & Haji Zaidi

Doorgifts – Muffins from Pepperina’s Kitchen

Attire – Material ; Firoz Jaya & YMRM

             – Tailoring ; Nie, Kiulap

Accessories – Anma Bridal Boutique (Groom) & Roza Rohaya (Bride)

Pelamin – Ruzz Enterprise

Walkway Deco – Ruzz Enterprise

Tempat Membasuh Kaki – Dewan Sumbangsih

Qasidah – Fellas Ensemble

 

Others

Photographer – Syazwany El-Hakeem

Invitation Cards – Ezy Printing

 

So far, ani saja dulu..Insya Allah, I will give out the reviews on each vendors and also I will def. share my experience. 🙂

Happy Wednesday.

Assalamualaikum.

a quick update…

Assalamualaikum friends,

I haven’t been blogging since I got married, really sorry for that. I know I have promised some reviews and insya Allah some pictures. hehe. Nothing much really, the reason why I haven’t been updating this blog is that I have been sick since after my sanding…until now. huhu. It got worst actually, my temperature suddenly naik today. 😦

Been resting a lot this week and dear husband is awesome for taking care of me. 🙂 Though in this ‘honeymoon’ phase I couldn’t be me 100% but I am so grateful to know what wonderful, amazing husband Allah has given me. :’)

Other than that, I am loving my job as a wife. 🙂 I’m still learning and so far, I love taking the role of a wife. Insya Allah I will always love being a wife. :p & it looks like, we will not go for our honeymoon because of a reason. Insya Allah, murah rezeki..nanti2 saja. hehe. Lagipun, it wouldn’t be that much fun going on vacation with me being sick.

Mudahan I will get better, insya Allah. 🙂 goodnight.

& as promised (ani dulu k..haha)…

Alhamdulillah. :)

I am officially a Mrs. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Alhamdulillah, syukur ke hadrat Allah SWT majlis akad nikah berjalan dengan sempurna. 🙂

I will insya Allah write a proper post about the event, right now I have to focus on to the next!! hehe.

p.s: I am truly & sincerely HAPPY and GRATEFUL. *tears*

Assalamualaikum.

10!…9!

Let the countdown begin. 😀

I wanted to post something yesterday and start the 10 days countdown post, but due to being busy..I didn’t have the time to do it. huhu. anyway, it’s 9 days to our Nikah. Alhamdulillah… 🙂

We are about to finish with the hantaran, mostly foods yang tinggal. Insya Allah, all will be complete by next week. Syukur ke hadrat Allah jua because cousins offered to sponsor for things. hehe. I actually wanted to share my experience attending our Kursus Nikah, that was on the 23rd & 24th of April. It was a full day class, meaning morning and afternoon. We were told that nearly half of the original attendees had to pull out of the class because of the ‘exercise’ that started on the 23rd.

The subject was as usual, general knowledge of Nikah, syarat2, cerai & talak, tanggungjawab and others. From my opinion, the class & subjects were very interesting and fun. Yes, there were some that made me sleepy but overall, I enjoyed it. I actually felt sad when it ended, and I miss the class. I have always love reading and learning about anything marriage related. and I do learned a lot from that course, because they actually teaches you on how to handle situations and so on, especially being a soldier’s wife; we have to be extra patience. Insya Allah…

Me and fiance started the ‘not seeing each other until Nikah‘ phase. hehe. We actually wanted to start on the 20th April, so it’s 1 month of not seeing each other. But due to still some things yang belum selesai, we settled for ‘jumpa if ada urusan saja’. 😛 so far, we managed to obey the rule. We meet to settle wedding related stuff only, habis atu balik. 😀 (well, we broke the rule for that 1 day because we haven’t seen Avengers; kes inda mau ketinggalan. haha) But once it hits the 7 days to go mark, we wanted to actually not see each other banar-banar sampai nikah. So, we have to settle all things yang related to both of us by this week. Insya Allah… 🙂

Another thing that I need to start and insya Allah will start by today, is baking the Muffins! Need to be the Super Bride once again. hehe. Pray for me…

Have a blessed Friday everyone..

Assalamualaikum.

Mencari Keredaan Suami.

RASULULLAH saw bersabda, yang bermaksud:

“Seorang isteri yang bermuka muram di hadapan suaminya, maka ia dalam kemurkaan Allah hingga ia dapat membuat suasana yang riang gembira kepada suaminya dan memohon kerelaannya. “

Begitulah besarnya harga senyuman seorang isteri
kepada suaminya kerana senyuman akan mencetuskan suasana kegembiraan yang sebenarnya dikehendaki suami ketika pulang dalam keletihan.

Muka yang masam bukan saja akan menimbulkan kemarahan suami, malahan menyebabkan Allah turut murka dan kemurkaan Allah itu berkekalan hingga isteri berjaya mengembalikan suasana gembira serta memohon keampunan daripada suami. 

Sesungguhnya keredaan Allah terletak pada keredaan suami.

Justeru, apabila suami pulang segeralah bukakan pintu, persilakan masuk dengan penuh hormat dan ciumlah tangan suami sebagai tanda hormat serta meminta maaf,walaupun isteri merasakan tidak berbuat sebarang kesalahan pada hari itu.

Sebuah hadis ada menyebut bahawa apabila seorang suami bersalaman dengan isterinya, maka gugurlah segala dosa dari celah-celah jari mereka berdua.

Andai mempunyai anak-anak, ajarlah mereka itu untuk selalu bersalaman dengan ayahnya kerana kelaziman akan memupuk rasa kasih dan hormat anak-anak kepada orang tua.

Kebahagiaan rumahtangga terletak pada akhlak dan budi pekerti isteri.

Biarpun seorang isteri itu tidak cantik tapi jika cukup sempurna layanannya terhadap suami dan berakhlak pula, tentu ia akan menjadi penghibur dalam rumahtangga.

Oleh itu wahai isteri, hendaklah berlumba-lumba untuk menjadi seorang isteri yang solehah, yang bertakwa, berakhlak mulia dan taat kepada suami.

Rasulullah saw bersabda, yang bermaksud:

“Sungguh-sungguh memintakan ampun untuk seorang isteri yang berbakti kepada suaminya, iaitu burung-burung diudara, ikan-ikan di air dan malaikat di langit selama dia sentiasa dalam kerelaan suaminya.”

Jika seorang isteri mengharap cintanya berbalas, maka banyakkan mencari keredhaan Allah melalui keredhaan suami.

Sucikanlah 4 hal dengan 4 perkara :

“Wajahmu dengan linangan air mata keinsafan,

Lidahmu basah dengan berzikir kepada Penciptamu,

Hatimu takut dan gementar kepada kehebatan Rabbmu,
dan ……….

Dosa-dosa yang silam disulami dengan taubat kepada Dzat yang
memilikimu.”

Life after Wedding

What I love about wedding is the life after that. Being a wife/husband, being a mother/father. Yes, we spend months and months preparing for our wedding, but we also must prepare ourselves in becoming a wife and insyaAllah a mother. Before I even planned and discuss about wedding, I have always love reading and watching shows and talks about marriage. especially marriage according to Islam. There are so many wonderful things that we can gain being a wife..

A wife’s responsibility is heavy but when doing it right, you can get pahala very easily. For me, being married means working hard to gain more iman and pahala together as a couple. Because the real honeymoon is in Jannah..in sya Allah. Here, we work hard and pray to Allah and do what Allah says and love according to Islam..because if we are married, in sya Allah our partner will be our partner in jannah. So why waste time being busy with dunia when you know who’s your partner will be. let us increase our iman and do what’s right so that we can live happily in jannah. And the best thing is, in jannah..we will not fight, there will be no jealousy, no negativity none at all. Isn’t that wonderful? where we will no longer fight with our husband? there will be no trust issues, no negative thinking, no more bad things…

I know great reward comes with great obstacles. What I learn is, if we seek for Allah’s forgiveness and do things dengan redha Allah, in sya Allah everything will be alright. Dugaan and rintangan will always be there, but Allah promised the He will not give us burden that is unbearable for us.

I have a lot of learning to do and so far away from being the ‘woman/wife’ that I hoped to be one day. Mari kitani sama-sama berdoa agar dapat menjadi insan yang beriman, menjadi isteri solehah yang di redhai oleh Allah & menjadi ibu kepada anak2 yang soleh/solehah. Amin amin amin yarabb. :’)

Reminiscing

For today’s post, I would like to share my experience and happy moments with you when me and fiance got engaged. We are now 3 months plus until akad nikah and it is appropriate that I share our early moments especially after I just sprawl into the blog world with just 4 months to spare. hehe.

***********************************************************

The idea of getting engaged came after I graduated and after we overcame a difficult moment in our life. Alhamdulillah, we stayed strong and we just instantly said that 2009 was our year. Our year to start over, our year to change, our year to grow up. Best year ever! hehe.

I specifically remember the moment when dear fiance came to my house. Me and the siblings were out to watch a movie, it was after my graduation that morning, kira us celebrate lah tu. I mentioned to him that my parents is at home & he took that chance to come and menyampaikan hajatnya. 🙂 After the movies, I met with my parents. No, they didn’t say anything..my dad was actually ‘berpantun’ saying someone wants to mendirikan masjid or mendirikan tiang drumah is it? haha..I can’t remember. I was confused because fiance didn’t say anything, parents also didn’t say anything. just clues and riddles. At last, of course I knew… 😛

Berjarum-jarum

We made plans for both of our families to meet to discuss about the engagement. I was actually nervous, we had a date set in mind and I told the fiance to remind his parents about the date and so on. Of course, I was advised to not go downstairs..but little old me tried to listen from upstairs. I can’t really hear what they were saying. hehe. I was anxious for it to be over so that I know the outcome of it. Lastly, me and parents had the talk and we discussed about the possible date. (nope, our date wasn’t approved).

The Engagement Day

🙂 I remember sleeping very nervously that night, trying to remember and do the ‘to-do list’ in my head for tomorrow’s event. I woke up, nervously as I was..I became very active and that I helped with basically everything, until my maid said..i’m supposed to be relaxing not helping around. I was nervous! I can’t just relax. huhu. I ate lunch outside that day and run some errands to complete the check list..I had to ask my MUA to come a little bit late cause I was still buying stuff.

My best friend came early and I’m glad she did, I was a total wreck – going here and there. At last, my MUA came and we started on the makeup. More friends came and they stayed with me in my room.

I heard a knock and my sister came to inform me that fiance’s family had arrived. Me and my best friend looked at each other with that ‘Oh My God’ look. lol. I love the moment when I walked from my room to go downstairs to the living room. All of my friends were right behind me. My amit was holding my hand, asking me not to ‘melirik-lirik’ and senyum2. hehe. When I came to the living room, my first reaction was “banyak ye orang…” My way of toning down the nerves is by looking at all the people who came..like scanning from left to right, so that I can adapt to the situation. I actually forgot if I did that since I wasn’t allowed to do that. I think I just looked down.

Like usual, I sat in the middle and guest were surrounding me. I just sat at a pillow, one cousin even thought I was getting married. Fiance’s mom came to me and the ‘menyarungkan cincin’ occured. It was quick, I don’t know..maybe in my head I imagined the moment in slow motion. 😛 After that, I have to salam everyone. Ohh..and at that moment barutah I realized on how many people came that day. Macam biasa, taking pictures with everyone. Lastly, fiance came and we were like..”alhamdulillah, we’re engaged now!” 🙂 🙂 🙂

**********************************************************

It was 2 years plus ago and to be honest, time flies so fast. I know people always said that bertunang banyak dugaan and rintangan..alhamdulillah, our love stays strong and we are now fully ready to make that big step towards marriage. So far, I love preparing for our wedding…and right now, I can’t wait to be his wife. 🙂

In sya Allah, moga perhubungan dan jodoh kami diberkati Allah SWT and berpanjangan hingga ke jannah. 🙂 🙂 🙂 Amin yarabbal alamin.

Thanks for reading. Goodnight. Assalamualaikum.

Must Read

On Marriage in Islam

by Dr. Sherif Mohammed

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you;

When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur’anic verse which says:

they are your garments and you are their garments” (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).

Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala,

And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature … (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)

Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur’an,

And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect. (Surah Al Rum 30:21)

But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.

Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam said

one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife.

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife’s mouth, opening the car’s door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala will always result in having more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam said

the best of you are those who are best to their wives.

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don’t be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife’s parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her “I don’t like your parents.” Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said ” I don’t like yours either”… Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.

The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years extended to include all those she loved and continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija’s family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija’s sister Hala, he would pray saying “O Allah let it be Hala.”

Conflicts

For today’s post, I want share with you my thoughts and opinions about the common problems a family will deal when having a wedding. Before all the preparations starts, the dates of the wedding, events and where the wedding should be held is usually the topic of discussion in a family meeting. From my opinion and experience, the topic that is well discussed and can easily go to a heat disagreement is about what events should the family include. What I noticed is that todays couple mostly wants a simple wedding; which is Nikah and Sanding. Some opted for just Nikah. Me and fiance also planned to have a 2 event wedding.

Why I say this topic is a hot topic to be discussed? Because usually parents and the elderly will not approve such thing. Personally, both me and fiances’ plan were changed drastically just because the parents didn’t approve on having a 2 event wedding. At first, I was stress and sad, and frustrated. The whole reason why a couple go for this simple wedding is because of budget..but what parents go for is the tradition.

So, which one is more important? Tradition? Budget? or Hukum Islam? for me..all three is very important. What’s important and should have in every person’s mind is what goes first? what’s the order?

1) Budget 2) Hukum Islam 3) Tradition? I would put hukum islam as the first priority. Because if we plan a wedding base on the teachings of Islam, in sya Allah our wedding and preparation will be blessed by Allah SWT and Allah promised us that He will give us rezeki if the person’s intention is to get married. Rezeki here doesn’t entirely mean money, it can be anything..a job, a child, good health, smooth event, people happy, people praying for us..all of that is rezeki. So, refresh you niat..the reason why you want to marry. Try to follow the teachings of islam and in sya Allah everything will take place. 🙂

As for the tradition, it is okay to have it but do not make it as a priority. Yang penting, buatlah dengan sederhana.

I am glad that the phase is over for me, yes I was sad that our plan didn’t work out but I think it got better. 🙂 We must always remember that yes, we can stand with our decision on having this and that..but don’t be hard headed until we as their children ‘derhaka’ to our parents. Lagi tia inda diberkati..Nauzubillah. Just try compromising, so that both sides will be happy. & If the parents wants to have this and that, No parents will let their child be burden with the budget..that usually means, they will help but I know us as their child, do not want to burden our parents.

What I had learned during my ‘memberontak’ phase is just go with the flow. Compromise, tell them what you can afford..don’t disagree entirely but don’t just agree in everything. At that time, I was asking to myself..why my parents wants this and that, they know what my budget is..why is the tradition and all important? then I came into realization that I should let them want what they want..because the wedding is in another words the final celebration before sending their children (especially daughters) away..after married, it’s not their responsibility anymore. Maybe this is their way, their final contribution to their children.

I always get sad and teary when ever I think of this, there comes a point where I feel I’m not ready to be away/cut from my parents responsibility. I mean, I will no longer be daddy’s girl..so to speak. hehe. Maybe a big part of it comes from feeling my contribution to the parents is not enough, but I am glad that in sya Allah I will get married, and hey, I can still contribute and be a great daughter when I’m married. 🙂